Send a fatwa in two steps!!
Who needs a Fatwa? [name]
What did this person do wrong?
asking stupid questions
being a spoiled, overpayed lazy bastard
being as promiscuous as a priest in a boys school
defecating in my garden
displaying more violence than a Abu Graib warden
dressing like a communist leader from the seventies
driving around with a jesus fish on your bumper
driving like an old lady on prozac
engaging in uncontrolable flatulance in my car
looking like a singer of an eighties hard rock band
messing around with my girlfriend
not returning my lawnmower
putting salt in my coffee
selling my pet on ebay
sending me fatwas
sleeping with my husband
smelling like a dead vegetarian
smoking pot in a pipe
taking up three parking spaces with a Smart
talking on the phone in a volume in which there is no need for such an apparatus
wearing blindingly ugly ties
wearing my clothes
wearing white socks
How will this person be punished?
by being outsourced to India
by getting caught in backwards moving traffic jams
by getting stuck at a roundabout
by waking up each day with a solid combover
by waking up with the wardrobe of a christian hippie
by your nike swoosh falling off your shoes
with an office full of colleagues with a sense of humor
with bad cases of Giles de la Tourette during speeches
with bad hair days
with diarrhoea in an out-of-style odour
with extreme penile shrinkage
with fatal hemroids
with horrifyingly bad parking spaces
with intense boldness
with mass bird droppings on your car
with speeding tickets
with uncontrolable flatulance
What is the name of your God? [e.g. Bush, M. Ahmadinejad]
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